Also in Reader's Digest Magazine May 2015
“Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom. “Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. “But there was a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.” —Travis Stork, MD, Nashville, Tennessee (Check out Dr. Stork’s silly cover outtakes here!)
Overheard in the Doctor’s Office
As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. “You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly.
“Third husband?” I asked. “How many have you had?”
“Two.” —Leon Pendracky, OD, Avella, Pennsylvania
My patient announced she had good news … and bad. “The medicine for my earache worked,” she said. “What’s the bad news?” I asked.
“It tasted awful.”
Since she was feeling better, I didn’t have the heart to tell her they’re called eardrops for a reason. —Murray Grossan, MD, founder of the Grossan Institute, Los Angeles
Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself.
Me: Where did you get hurt?
Patient: Aisle six. —John Munshower, DO, Media, Pennsylvania
I gave my patient the results of her sleep study: “It looks like you stopped breathing in your sleep over 65 times per hour.”
Her response: “Did I start back?” —Michael Breus, PhD, Scottsdale, Arizona
During surgery, my fellow resident bumped heads with the surgeon.
“Ah, Dr. Jones, a meeting of the minds,” he said, laughing it off.
The surgeon mumbled, “Yes. And I felt so alone.” —Sid Schwab, MD, Everett, Washington
Scene: The operating room. I’m reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses.
Me: We have the surgical equipment, the heart-lung machine, antibiotics, and the replacement heart valve on hand.
Patient: You wait until now to figure this stuff out? Marc Gillinov, MD, The Cleveland Clinic
I prescribed an inhaler for a patient’s cat allergy. He came back a week later saying he was none the better. Turns out, he was spraying the inhaler on the cat. —Source: sunnyskyz.com
“Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom. “Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. “But there was a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.” —Travis Stork, MD, Nashville, Tennessee (Check out Dr. Stork’s silly cover outtakes here!)
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Overheard in the Doctor’s Office
As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. “You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly.
“Third husband?” I asked. “How many have you had?”
“Two.” —Leon Pendracky, OD, Avella, Pennsylvania
My patient announced she had good news … and bad. “The medicine for my earache worked,” she said. “What’s the bad news?” I asked.
“It tasted awful.”
Since she was feeling better, I didn’t have the heart to tell her they’re called eardrops for a reason. —Murray Grossan, MD, founder of the Grossan Institute, Los Angeles
Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself.
Me: Where did you get hurt?
Patient: Aisle six. —John Munshower, DO, Media, Pennsylvania
I gave my patient the results of her sleep study: “It looks like you stopped breathing in your sleep over 65 times per hour.”
Her response: “Did I start back?” —Michael Breus, PhD, Scottsdale, Arizona
During surgery, my fellow resident bumped heads with the surgeon.
“Ah, Dr. Jones, a meeting of the minds,” he said, laughing it off.
The surgeon mumbled, “Yes. And I felt so alone.” —Sid Schwab, MD, Everett, Washington
Scene: The operating room. I’m reviewing the surgical checklist with the nurses.
Me: We have the surgical equipment, the heart-lung machine, antibiotics, and the replacement heart valve on hand.
Patient: You wait until now to figure this stuff out? Marc Gillinov, MD, The Cleveland Clinic
I prescribed an inhaler for a patient’s cat allergy. He came back a week later saying he was none the better. Turns out, he was spraying the inhaler on the cat. —Source: sunnyskyz.com
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